Today, let’s focus on Discipline 10: Be Humble. Being humble is viewing yourself as an equal to every person on the planet.
Simply put, humble people don’t feel they are more important than anyone else. And arrogant people feel that they are. I’m guessing you know both types of people.
What is your view of yourself?
The definition of humble is, ironically, similar to arrogant. Humility is “your estimate of your own importance in comparison to others,” and arrogance is “the way you view your level of importance in comparison to others.” They are both saying the same thing.
Whether you are arrogant or humble, of course, you can be extremely successful. There are thousands of examples of both types of people. What I have discovered, however, is that the journey of life is better if you are humble.
There is a universal law—the boomerang, karma, whatever you call it—that being humble in life attracts more humble people to you, which leads to more happiness, friends, and people that want to be with you and love you unconditionally. Like attracts like.
Some of our clients rank themselves on the high end of humble, which does not surprise me, as humble people are drawn to this work. That said, we challenge them during this exercise to ponder the following scenarios, as being humble can be subtle.
Have you ever been at a restaurant, finding yourself “hangry,” in a bit of a rush, and finding the service not up to your expectations? In that scenario, maybe you treat the server with a slight edge. Maybe when the server is away from your table, you shake your head and make a judgment about this person.
Have you ever arrived at a hotel or resort where the staff takes care of your every whim? How does that make you feel? Again, do you feel more important than members of the staff or, do you feel as a complete equal?
These scenarios are meant to get your mind thinking and bring awareness to the subtle everyday interactions you have.
Humble and grateful go hand in hand. I’ve never met a humble person who did not feel gratitude daily. I find it is almost impossible to feel gratitude and not be humble.
In the book How to Be Well, the author, Frank Lipman, MD, writes, “Gratitude is turning your attention to the goodness that is already in your life. When you view your world through a thankful lens, more good things start to happen. It’s a simple but powerful way to reframe your perspective on life.”
Gratitude is such a simple practice, yet when we ask our clients about it the most common response we receive is, “Yes, I know! I’ve got to get better at doing that each Day.”
Here’s a very simple practice. Say, “Thank you,” every night when you go to bed. You can piggyback that onto your visualization, “Seeing it every night” we discussed in Disciplines 1, 10-Year Thinking and 8, Prepare Every Night.