Shedding Layers by Embracing Our Beautiful Monsters
What Are Your “Beautiful Monsters”?
Today, I’ve got another way for you to shed a layer and will share a concept called “Beautiful Monsters,” which I learned about in a book called Why you Meditate: The Science and Practice of Clarity and Compassion by Daniel Goleman and Tsoknyi Rinpoche and that was a recent theme of the Do Nothing Peer Group I co-teach.
You all have “beautiful monsters” within you—those parts of yourself you wish you could ignore or get rid of. Fear, self-doubt, anger, or perfectionism. You’re driven and may look at these as flaws, but they are not! They are opportunities for your transformation. By acknowledging and “shaking hands” with these parts of yourself with compassion, you can learn to be with them, offer them kindness, and in doing so, begin to free your True Self.
For example, imagine shaking hands with your fears, rather than pushing them away. It’s freeing! And, it creates a space for your healing, where you can grow without the self-judgment you might normally place on yourself.
Self-Compassion: Your Missing Ingredient
True self-awareness requires more than noticing your negative thoughts and emotions; it requires compassion. Observing our thoughts without kindness can lead to harsh self-judgment. Instead, soften your inner voice, forgiving yourself for not being perfect. As Sharon Salzburg, a renowned meditation teacher, author, and speaker put it, “Give your beautiful monsters a name, a wardrobe, a persona.” This helps you reframe them—to relate to them differently.
Salzburg tells a story about how she named her beautiful monster. She decided to call her Lucy, based on the character in the Peanuts comic strip, because some friends and she had moved into a house that someone had rented for them to do a retreat in. Sharon went into the bedroom that was going to be hers, and someone had left a cartoon from the Peanuts comic strip on the desk.
In the first frame, Lucy is talking to Charlie Brown and says, “You know what your problem is, Charlie Brown? The problem with you is that you’re you.”
In the second frame, poor Charlie Brown says, “Well, what in the world can I do about that?”
In the third and final frame, Lucy says, “I don’t pretend to be able to give advice. I merely point out the problem.”
Sharon noticed that whenever she would walk by that desk, her eye would fall right on that line. The line that said . . . “The problem with you is that you’re you.”
She says that the “Lucy voice” had been so strong in her earlier life.
She goes on to explain that this is an example of mindfulness. Something happened for her that she said happened quickly after she saw the cartoon, and it was something great. It was that self-judgment was never going to happen again.
So she labeled that feeling. “Hi, Lucy.”
And then, she explains that her favorite thing to say was, “Chill out, Lucy. Just chill, just chill. It’s different than, “You’re right, Lucy, you’re always right. I’m completely worthless.”
All these years later, Lucy’s still there for Sharon. If she starts to think to herself, “I’m so forlorn, I’m such a mess” She simply says, “Hi Lucy, I see you. Have a seat.”
You see, by turning toward these monsters with curiosity, you release the need for perfection, allowing for a genuine connection to your True Self. When you give your monsters a seat at the table, you find balance.
Create Space for Vulnerability
What does this mean for your work life? It starts with creating space for vulnerability. When you show compassion towards your own fears, you model that openness for your team, fostering an environment where it’s safe to make mistakes, learn, and grow.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is be present with your uncertainties. Embracing your beautiful monsters not only helps you find peace but also makes you a more compassionate and resilient leader.
3-Minute Journaling Prompt:
What is one “beautiful monster” that you’ve avoided facing? What would it be like to meet this part of yourself with curiosity instead of fear?
Consider:
“Your monsters may seem ugly at first, but when you heal one, it becomes beautiful.” Embrace every part of your journey—not just your successes, but your fears and doubts, too. That is the key to true peace and freedom.
The 10 Disciplines:
If you’re interested in the 10 Disciplines Group Coaching Program, please sign up now before the early bird pricing expires. We provide this early bird pricing for our benefit as well as yours – it helps us plan when we know well in advance the size of each group. And, of course, you save $1,400! That’s pretty significant!
Our next Group Coaching Program starts on January 13th. During our 10-session program, you will learn to deepen your understanding of yourself and, with that knowledge, how to protect your boundaries to free your True Self and ultimately Shine.
I encourage you to take our True Self Assessment to learn how strong your foundation is.
